Starting over seems to be a theme in my life. It is partly a sign of my deep down eternal optimism, partly just hope that maybe dreams are attainable no matter what problems have occurred. It's also why I love New Year's Day, an entire day devoted to starting anew. I love the thrill of sitting down with a new calendar or planner. - never-mind that all I need to know is really stored on my phone. I don't even mind Mondays because it signifies the beginning of a new week.
This is also most likely why I struggle to follow through and accomplish my goals - like weight loss, learning new hobbies or habits, or finally having the Martha Stewart worthy home that exists in my head. When I slip up, have a bad day or whatever, there's always tomorrow - or next week. Not that having eternal optimism is a bad thing: it's just a little self-defeating at times.
So, here I go again, at least in my little world, starting over. My nest is no longer empty; my nest is currently a little off balance (in a good way). My daughter, her husband and their daughter have moved back in temporarily. I love having them here, but it again starts a new role in life to learn, new routines to find, new attitudes to adopt.
First, I need to keep my eye on the greater household good. Some things are not worth the small squabbles that result. I have *some* issues with admitting when I'm wrong and sometimes have trouble keeping quiet. My greater goal at home is to be the best grandmother I can be - the playing, cookie baking type - and make sure my Rosie knows she is loved. My next goal is to be supportive of my daughter and her life. I am an involved mom, and I always want to be involved to some degree. Finally, I have to focus on my husband and our relationship. So, to reach these goals, I have to put aside some pride, some need to have the final word, and definitely some control (because these things are not nearly as important as my family).
As far as my health, I definitely need to make it a greater focus. I'm certainly not getting any younger. You would think that after 47 years of existence, and probably "dieting" in one form or another since I was 12, I would be able to understand and keep a greater rein on my health. I struggle with portion control and loving all the bad foods. I think it's also time I learn to focus on what my body is telling me, instead of my brain or taste buds. The mouth may be craving a second serving of chips but that doesn't mean my body needs or wants it.
As for all the other pleasures and desires to balance in life, it comes down to time. We all have it, we just don't know how to spend it or take care of it. I need to learn to use it for what I want, prioritize, and not feel guilty that not everything will get done. Life will continue to go on.
